Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV

<h1>Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV</h1>
<p>I'm sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in. I can explain. It's very valuable. She also liked to shut up! I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!</p>
<h2>My Three Suns</h2>
<p>Meh. Your best is an idiot! Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments." I suppose I could part with 'one' and still be feared&hellip;</p>
<ul>
<li>Oh, I think we should just stay friends.</li>
<li>So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?</li>
<li>She also liked to shut up!</li>
<li>Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man.</li>
<li>I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!</li>
</ul>
<h3>Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV</h3>
<p>Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket. You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things. Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil.  And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil.  And by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.</p>
<h4>I, Roommate</h4>
<p>She also liked to shut up! When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought "Why should I?" Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film! I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.</p>
<ol>
<li>Please, Don-Bot&hellip; look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file!</li>
<li>Who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere?</li>
<li>Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man.</li>
<li>Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages!</li>
<li>I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!</li>
</ol>
<h5>Future Stock</h5>
<p>I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things. Tell her she looks thin. So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct? Oh God, what have I done? A true inspiration for the children. Bite my shiny metal ass.</p>